Love Garden Shoppe

For Sophisticated Lovers

Hello world! from the Love Garden Shoppe/What online dating can do for you.

December is a time of regeneration, so include your romantic life in that world-wide celebration, witnessing the winter solstice.

Visit my affiliated providers so you can get the newest hot gifts for your sweetie, just in time for the Winter Holidays! You can rationalize it as a calorie-burning activity that’s lots more fun than the gym.

No matter what your age, advice and suggestions from the Love Garden Shoppe will enhance your romantic life, in whatever form it takes. We are people in our 50s and 60s who continue to enjoy a vibrant love life. Many of us have professional degrees from top schools. Many of us don’t have degrees, but we are pretty smart and focused.
This site contains adult material. It does not contain within the site any nudity or pornography. If you aren’t an adult yet but you are engaging in adult activities like this, even more important for you read.
Submit your stories about happy online dating experiences for our readers. I am an advocate of any dating plan that will help people meet a special person. I am an introvert, so I gravitate to online providers. I started in January of 2007 at the insistence of family members who saw that I was not recovering from a family tragedy. I moaned about it, but I knew they had my best interests at heart.

I started with the paid sites, first EHarmony as it’s ads led me to believe it was a civilized dating site. For me it was a dud. The designers of EHarmony are conservative Christians and I was not popular amongst the congregation. After two months I went on to That was a waste, but I met a great friend there. After six months I pulled the plug on Match and went on to Chemistry. I had one date from Chemistry and had some hope for it.

But when Googling for a list of odd kitchen utensils, I ran across a list on a site called OKCUPID. I looked around in there for a couple of hours and I was hooked. The best part?

It’s free! You can do everything you need to without choosing some of the paid services they offer.

I built one identity. It took me a month. I read it and decided that it would be easy to learn my identity because of the user name I had chosen, so I trashed it all and started over again.

After all, what did I have to lose? In that next month I answered 1,000 questions and took 100 tests. I learned more about myself in that time that I could not have learned any other way. I sculpted, and was sculpted by OKC in return.

Users write most of the questions and quizzes. Some questions and quizzes are basics that everyone who is serious completes because they were designed by the founders and represent a common source of building community.

Outcome? I have had three great relationships in the last seven years result from my engagement with OKC that I would have never had any other way.

### End of Chapter One

Love yourself better with turmeric, a miracle antinflammatory

Your author has been plagued by bouts of full-body pain and fever since her 20s. For 40 years, these events were a mystery to her. At age 60, the condition had worsened to the point that she was bedridden and in ferocious constant pain. Without health insurance, or the means to pay for treatment herself, she ended up in the emergency room of the county hospital on Dec. 2, 2013.

There, she stood up when she got off the examination table, and promptly collapsed to the floor because of the pain. The doctor promised her an MRI appointment right after the holidays.

You know what happens next. She called in late January. They made an appointment to see her in late February. The doctor said she needed an MRI. She said she knew that. He promised the appointment would be scheduled soon. In the meanwhile, this is her day.

Wake up in terrible pain after a few hours’ restless sleep. Gather the courage to get out of bed. Bring coffeepot next to her bedside so she wouldn’t have to get up for a while. Stay home. Have groceries delivered. No medicine could receive the agony.

Finally, MRI on April 15. Result: she has lumbar stenosis, they say.

Her Medicare insurance kicked in on May 1, 2014 after a 2 3/4 year wait. She was in the ER on May 2. The doctor manipulated her legs and she screamed three times from the terrible pain. Everyone in ER heard it. Turned out the hips were bad too.


A neighbor knew of a local health foods and supplement store and took her there. The herbalist suggested a combination of yucca capsules and a combination capsule of turmeric and bromelain to be taken night and morning. She took the night capsules 2 hours after food. Felt better before bedtime. Figured it was a placebo effect. The next morning she awakened to find her pain cut in half!

Gradual improvement of the back pain kept her thoughts from turning to the dark places they had been in the midst of those months of hell.


1. Effective therapeutic dose: 1000MG Smarter, “Stop Aging Now” website.

7 Things You Should Know About Sex Therapy

7 Things You Should Know About Sex Therapy

If you’re experiencing a sexual problem, the last thing you probably want to do is talk about it. But sex therapy is designed to help you do just that so you can get to the bottom of your sexual issues and reverse them.

Whether you work with a psychiatrist, psychologist, or marriage or sex counselor, sex therapy can help with a variety of issues including erectile dysfunction, low libido, and other sexual problems. And it can help you and your partner work through these issues in a supportive and educational environment.

So what does sex therapy really entail? And who qualifies as a sex therapist? Read on to discover the truth about this type of therapy.

1. Sex Therapy Is Like Other Forms of Counseling

Contrary to what some believe, there’s nothing strange, deviant, or kinky going on behind the walls of a sex therapist’s office. Indeed, sex therapy is not very different from other forms of psychological counseling.

2. You’ll Explore the Psychological Side of Sex

Your therapist will help you work through emotional issues that may be contributing to sexual issues such as erectile dysfunction, says urologist Drogo Montague, MD, professor of surgery at the Cleveland Clinic Lerner College of Medicine in Ohio. “Sex therapy typically begins with learning about performance anxiety and then moves on to teaching a couple how to establish open lines of communication to discuss sexual wants and needs,” he explains. “The couple may also explore issues causing relationship stress.”

To read the other reasons, please…
Go to Original

Will Antidepressants Wreck Your Sex Life?

Seventy percent of people taking certain antidepressants complain of negative sexual side effects — but a new drug, and a few intimacy boosters, could help change that.

By Madeline R. Vann, MPH

Medically Reviewed by Pat F. Bass, III, MD, MPH

What sets Viibryd — an antidepressant approved by the FDA in January 2011 — apart from other depression medications on the market? Unlike most antidepressants, this one comes without any apparent sexual side effects.

Back in the 1950s, when antidepressants were first introduced to treat depression, physicians and patients didn’t talk much about sexual repercussions — this first generation of drugs had many unpleasant side effects. So when a new class of medications, selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors (SSRIs), such as fluoxetine (Prozac) and sertraline (Zoloft), came to the market, their fewer side effects were enthusiastically welcomed.

some antidepressants on the market now

some antidepressants on the market now

But it didn’t take long for patients to feel the brunt of SSRIs in the bedroom. Today, as many as 70 percent of patients taking certain antidepressants will say — if asked — that they have experienced changes in their sexual lives, from loss of sensation to lack of desire.

The sexual side effects of antidepressants may include

    Lowered libido
    Reduced genital sensitivity
    Delayed or absent orgasm (for both men and women)

The reasons for these sexual side effects are not fully understood. One theory is that SSRIs appear to interfere with nitric oxide, which plays a leading role in arousal and sexual response, resulting in lowered libido.

Experts acknowledge that it can be hard to tell whether sexual side effects come from medication or from the depression itself, which can also have an effect on sex drive. However, while depression may cause a lack of interest in sex, it typically does not cause physical difficulties with achieving orgasm or ejaculation.

5 Ways to Revive Your Sex Drive

There are several ways you can improve your sexual life while managing depression:

  1. Try other treatments. Treating depression is essential to your long-term quality of life. If you’re concerned about problems with antidepressants and sex, talk to your doctor about other treatment approaches, such as cognitive behavioral therapy.
  2. Lube up. For women, vaginal dryness can be a sexual side effect of antidepressants. A water-based vaginal lubricant may make sex more comfortable.
  3. Fool around. You may find that spending more time becoming aroused during foreplay helps overcome a delayed physical response.
  4. Talk it out. “We’ve found that people who communicate with their partners about their antidepressant side effects and who stay sexually active are less likely to let temporary problems become permanent,” says Tierney Lorenz, a researcher in the Sexual Psychophysiology Lab at the University of Austin in Texas.
  5. Get physical in other ways. Lorenz says she and her team are studying one potential cure for sexual side effects of antidepressants — exercise. “In the lab, we’ve found that exercising for 20 minutes before watching a sexual film doubled measures of sexual arousal in women taking antidepressants.” Consider working out as a couple — a romantic walk or an invigorating hike could put you in the mood.

Other Options for Antidepressants

If lifestyle approaches aren’t doing the trick, consider one of these medication-related strategies:

Ask your doctor about a different dosing schedule. “If you aren’t taking an extended-release tablet, you can try taking the meds at night just before sleep,” says Lorenz. “That way, the effect of the drug during the daytime will be lessened.”
Think about erectile dysfunction medications. Drugs known as PDE-5 inhibitors, such as sildenafil (Viagra), can be taken before you have intercourse and are effective in countering lowered libido. Although sildenafil is often thought of as a man’s medication, it has shown some promise in helping to improve women’s sexual response as well.
Rebalance changing levels of serotonin and dopamine. Your doctor may recommend daily doses of either buspirone (Buspar, Vanspar) or bupropion (Wellbutrin), both of which could counter the sexual side effects of SSRI antidepressants.
Switch antidepressants. People who take only bupropion to treat their depression are significantly less likely to report sexual side effects than people taking SSRI antidepressants. Another option is nefazodone (Serzone), although this medication appears to have a slightly higher risk of liver damage. In January of last year, the U.S. Food and Drug Administration approved the use of vilazodone (Viibryd) for depression treatment, which results in lowered libido in only about 4 percent of patients who take it.
Talk to your partner and your doctor to find the best option for you. And one word of caution: Don’t stop taking antidepressants on your own. Follow your doctor’s guidance for cutting back and ultimately stopping medication so that your depression can be resolved.

Last Updated: 5/14/2012

I read news from several health sites every day so I can share the best with you. I have been taking these medications for 25 years now and I can safely say that the side-effects are manageable and the medication has enhanced my life experience immeasurably. ~Sylvia

Will Antidepressants Wreck Your Sex Life?

Temporary Vixen

Three years ago, I spent $15 on a package of temporary tattoos from Joyce’s Temporary Tattoo Factory

My love and I have derived endless amusement from this small package of tattoos. I wear a different tattoo every time he comes to see me, and I wear it (or them) in a different place.

It’s one of my favorite ways to keep our relationship fresh! I also enjoy wearing different duds, lingerie, and shoes of course on each date for the same reason.

temporary tattoos lovers  tattoo art 6-13-13

I often considered getting a tattoo, yet I have remained tattoo-free all these years. Why, you may ask? Well, I knew that no matter how long I thought about a permanent tattoo, I would keep changing my mind about what it should be! I have ADD,  you see,  which means that I have a ravenous brain. Ravenous brain people always have to adjust their views to new data. Therefore, it is hard sometimes to make complicated decisions, like, what kind of tattoo could I love for the rest of my life? The answer turned out to be…none…for me.

The good news? I indulge in tattoo fantasies now nearly scot-free!

Learn more about Joyce here. 

don’t give up! 6 midlife sex myths

When it comes to sex after 40, one of the biggest misconceptions is that age will sour your sex life. But in reality, “many women in midlife say the quality of sex is better than ever because they know themselves and what pleases them,” says Barb DePree, MD, a gynecologist and director of women’s midlife services at Holland Hospital in Holland, Michigan. “Plus, they feel an intimacy and connection with their partner that’s unique to an older stage of life.”

Read on to discover six more sex myths doctors hear all the time — and the truth about how to have a satisfying sex life at any age or stage.

Go to Original

Change your game, sisters: 4 ways to seek and find compatible and compassionate partners every day.

My life has changed completely since I began the Internet dating experiment 8 years ago. My cousins told me that it was bad for me to be alone all by myself here in the Bay Area during an emotionally vulnerable time, so because I love and respect them, I gave it a try.

Because of Internet dating, I am alive now. The compassion and connection I have developed with a few delightful men+ has kept me healthier and more grounded through some horrifying family tragedies.

I joined Eharmony in January of 2007. Match and Chemistry were both total strikeouts. By accident I found OK C**** in November of 2007 and three days later a very interesting man wrote to me. We dated for 6 years.

I am no trophy, and I am not well-off. I am 63 years old with mobility disabilities, yet I could go out with a different man every day of the year if I wished.; Flowers from my Loverman

Flowers from my Loverman

Women, go sign up for Ashley M***** too.** Nowhere else on earth are the odds more in your favor. I met a lovely man there 18 months ago and we are still dating. We see one another once every week or so. Please use a deadend email address, for crying out loud!

Married men or happily-married widowed men are much more reliable and considerate than single men. They are also grateful for your willingness to see them despite their marital or emotional status. Give it a try!*

Women, your account is free at A M******. AM provides tools for you to upload your photos and apply a disguise to them after upload.

During the month I had my account open, more than 600 men either indicated interest by pinging me (free to them) or paying to write me an email. At first, I wrote back to many of those men who seemed interesting. My work started to pile up because I was spending ever more increasing hours writing back to my AM contacts. At least 1/3 of these men were local and dateable. Many were divorced, many widowed, many caring for disabled spouses. Many men whose wives just stopped liking sex wrote to me.

I am sharing this because these services helped me learn more about what I wanted in a relationship and adjust my expectations about my future. I first learned about the concept of sapiosexuality from my good friend Jay Wiseman. You may know me as one of Jay’s lunch b***hs.

Anyway, my dance card is full of sapiosexuals, but if it weren’t, I would do all the things people suggested here.

Then, ask a potential partner to join the Internet dating service of your choice and answer at least 300 questions. It’s not hard to do 30 or so while you are waiting for your incredibly ancient overburdened computer to open Adobe Acrobat DC. The applicant (*snort) should also be willing to take 25 or so of the personality quizzes. There are thousands of questions to choose from and hundreds of quizzes to take.

A final word about OKC…Take part! Submit your own questions and quizzes for consideration by the editors. The users take an active role in the site. Many are psychologists and others with human science educations.

*See my next article: 6 ways to tell him that you are not a bootycall.
**About the AM hack: My deadend fake email was revealed by the AM hack, but nothing else. They were stupid and greedy, refusing to invest in adequate security despite their reassuring promises of confidentiality. But I don’t care about that. I am seeing an adorably hot man I met through AM. We are going on two years. He’s brilliant and hilarious.

Your partner is not “in the mood” as often as you

By Sylvia Wells, March 12, 2015

Laura Berman, PhD, is a leading sex and relationship educator and therapist, popular TV and radio host, New York Times best-selling author, and assistant clinical professor of ob-gyn and psychiatry at the Feinberg School of Medicine at Northwestern University in Chicago.

I receive messages from her frequently, and I approve of her sensitive and accurate advice. I don’t always agree with her, but that means I mostly agree with her.

Her advice is as relevant to the SexyAt60 crowd as it is to all the rest of us.

Here is a link to her article How can you encourage sexual energy in your relationship?

Dr. Laura Berman, PhD., Northwestern University

Dr. Laura Berman, PhD., Northwestern University


Q: My wife keeps telling me that women don’t want sex as often as men do. When we have sex, she enjoys it, yet she often says she is too tired or not in the mood. I love having sex with her, but at the end of the day, it seems like it’s the last thing on her mind. Do women really just not want sex as much as men do, or is there something I can do to help her be in the mood?

A: When it comes to libido, there are no rules for what is “normal.” Some women crave sex more than their partners, while other women find that their libido lags behind their partners’ desires. In fact, the issue of libidos (when one partner wants sex more than the other) is one of the most common that couples confront. The good news is that there are several things you can do to help inspire more sexual energy in your relationship, and as long as both you and your wife are on board, there is no reason why you can’t create the frequent and passionate sex you desire.

18 year old man asks: Is this the symptom of an STD?

There are many different presentations of an STD, and there are also many normal “bumps” on male genitals. Read all about it at Dr. Laura Berman’s blog.

Is This the Symptom of an STD?

About Temporary Tattoo Factory Tattoos, Safety FDA inks & c., FAQs

You may as well read it here first, because once you go to the site your attention will be inexorably drawn. Here are reassurances about the safety and health of the tattoos, application directions, and FAQs. Go for it! ~Via

About Our Tattoos

Safety and FDA approved inks
Our “patented” manufacturing processes allows us to deliver the very best temporary tattoos in the world.
Our temporary tattoos are completely safe, non-toxic and hypoallergenic. All of our tattoo inks contain only FDA certified pigments. Our tattoo products exceed U.S. and international regulatory requirements.

How to apply and remove Temporary Tattoos and Gold Tattoos
Our “patented’ tattoos apply faster and easier than any other brand…in just 10 seconds.

Follow these easy directions:

1. Make sure your skin is clean and free from oil and make-up.
2. Remove the clear protective top sheet from the tattoos.
3. Place the tattoo face down on the skin or other surface.
4. Saturate the back of the tattoo with water…this will release the tattoo onto the skin.
5. Wait 10-15 seconds…then peel or slide away the backing paper.

* You are finished! (You may want to lightly wipe your tattoo with water to remove any shine)
To Remove: saturate the tattoo with rubbing alcohol and wipe away
Your tattoo will last for approximately 5 days or longer on some people.
You may take baths, showers or swim and your tattoo will not come off
Treat gently…do not rub with towel when bathing

Frequently asked questions

What is the delivery time for stock temporary tattoos?
All tattoo orders are shipped within 24-48 hours from San Diego, CA via 1st class mail.
Orders will arrive within 1-5 days depending on your location

Is faster delivery available?
You may request Overnight Express Mail when checking out after completing your order

Do you ship international orders?
We ship to most countries worldwide via USPS International Priority Mail. You may request international shipping at checkout for an additional $15.

What is the delivery time for custom printed tattoos?
Approximately 2 weeks

Type of artwork required for custom printed tattoos?
You may send your own art or we will design the tattoo for you…usually at no additional charge.
If sending your own art:
300 dpi jpeg, tiff or pdf
right reading at exact size


Temporary Tattoo Factory places a high value on the privacy of its customers.
Customer information is used for order processing on our own website only.
We never give, rent or sell customer information to any other company.
Any information we gather from our customers will always be securely guarded.

Four Rules for Attracting Smart Women on the Upside of Life

As toddlers, preteens, adolescents, we girls are all taught the same lesson, over and over. Men are brutes who can’t think about details, will lie to get sex, and we need to settle for what we can get over that. Our only other choice is someone who is overly controlled by a religion or ideology.

Among the qualities recommended to us there was “looking more like a girl,” which always got the most votes. There’s a reason that Paul McCartney is the most famous Beatle: he looked like a lady with those big eyes and long droopy eyelashes.

I stopped trying to find men who acted like and looked like women and accepted the fact that I had no other choices, being a natural hetero. By that I mean that I did not wake up one morning and decide I was attracted to guys. This argument serves me well when I get into a dispute with a homophobe. Use your imagination.

Once I figured all of this out I just started concentrating on men’s auras in the online dating world. Being a smart girl in the years before women’s lib was a guaranteed no-prom-date scenario. I mainly wanted full-time what I had part-time in my 25-year-marriage.

After joining OKCUPID I found thousands of possible matches. Tens of thousands of men have read my profile. Thousands have written me. My hope of finding suitable romantic partners has grown immensely.

Lotsa brainiac dudes out there looking for girl geeks and boffins.

Now that I have freed my mind, something as simple as the angle of a stance can set me off. I don’t have a set of characteristics I require. I am free now to make the best choices for me, not for the other person alone.

I am free to play only with the boys who play nice when they are naughty. No drama, no drama kings. Life is too short. Oh, one more thing. No more Scorpios. I mean it.

I have come to delight in the common traits that my men share. Traits such as voraciousness, insatiability, curiosity, delight, silliness, cameraderie. Yes, I adore your man-traits. I love that you are visual and use that to my advantage. Yes, I want to give you mind-blowing head. I want you to explore me to your heart’s content.

It makes me healthier, and you too. I like dating married men. They have proven they can get along wit women and can keep committments. They don’t need training. (My rant about the unsuitability of the nuclear family will appear here in the near future.)

Here are some rules for brainiac guys who seek smart women.

  1. Write to me lots!
  2. Take lots of OKCUPID quizzes.
  3. Answer lots of OKCUPID questions.
  4. Tell me what gets you out of bed in the morning besides needing to use the loo.

I want to know how your brain works. I want to know if you are neurotic or nice before I let you get close to me.

At 62, I find myself incredibly popular. I do not understand, but I am not complaining. All of these conversations enrich me, even if we don’t “click.” I have met hundreds of men who find me charming and date-able in the last 8 months. I had to withdraw my profile so I could concentrate on my tax practice.(1)

My health is a little worse than when I last updated my profile. Nevertheless, I still have an active and joyful romantic life. It sustains me through bad times to know that there are people who care.

I now know that there are so many men who are seeking the same love, romance, and peace that I seek.

I want that when you decide you no longer want to keep seeing me, you just say so. You don’t need to invite me out to dinner to do it. I won’t think you are rude. I WILL think you rude if you try to get me to break up with you by acting like a jerk. Just do it.

I do not want to get married again. I like not being property. My self-esteem and my protective instincts operate better when I control my own space.

For example, my building super indicated that he found me a tasty morsel. He’s quite sweet, but I could not afford to surrender my autonomy to that degree. After all, he could enter my apartment any time.


(1) An EA (Enrolled Agent) designation is in my near-future. I have purchased the study materials and have two months to complete the study and the live exams. I am confident of my success.