Beginning in late 2006, I tried the major commercial dating sites. I just wasn’t quite generic enough for that audience. After a year, I felt I had given online dating a fair trial and found it wanting.
Then, I found the FREE dating site www.okcupid.com by accident in late 2007. It was purchased by Match.com in 2012, but it hasn’t changed much, and it is still free. One may answer thousands of questions and take hundreds of tests, or just a few. Write all you want. The site even has a journal feature.
Of course, the usual pluses and minuses of any online dating remain in effect. It’s easy to get invested in someone who is a close match and who you have chemistry with. I found myself distressed to learn that even men who were very close matches with me and presumably held the same values, shockingly enough, had no problem treating me like a nonperson.
Nonetheless, over the years I have looked at thousands of profiles, exchanged correspondence with hundreds, met a score, and was grateful for the two long-term relationships I established. Those relationships ended because circumstances changed, but ended amicably.
The toys on the OKC site helped me gain important self-knowledge and clarified what I really wanted in a romantic partner. Second most important, my belief that there were a ton of smart, witty, delightful, compassionate men out in the world has been reinforced time and again.
Share your positive online dating experiences here. We all know about the bad ones.
NB. No, I am not being paid a fee to endorse the site. Yes, they mine your data and don’t pay you for that either. You may place a warning in your profile denying them permission. I didn’t bother.