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For Sophisticated Lovers

Your partner is not “in the mood” as often as you

By Sylvia Wells, March 12, 2015

Laura Berman, PhD, is a leading sex and relationship educator and therapist, popular TV and radio host, New York Times best-selling author, and assistant clinical professor of ob-gyn and psychiatry at the Feinberg School of Medicine at Northwestern University in Chicago.

I receive messages from her frequently, and I approve of her sensitive and accurate advice. I don’t always agree with her, but that means I mostly agree with her.

Her advice is as relevant to the SexyAt60 crowd as it is to all the rest of us.

Here is a link to her article How can you encourage sexual energy in your relationship?

Dr. Laura Berman, PhD., Northwestern University

Dr. Laura Berman, PhD., Northwestern University


Q: My wife keeps telling me that women don’t want sex as often as men do. When we have sex, she enjoys it, yet she often says she is too tired or not in the mood. I love having sex with her, but at the end of the day, it seems like it’s the last thing on her mind. Do women really just not want sex as much as men do, or is there something I can do to help her be in the mood?

A: When it comes to libido, there are no rules for what is “normal.” Some women crave sex more than their partners, while other women find that their libido lags behind their partners’ desires. In fact, the issue of libidos (when one partner wants sex more than the other) is one of the most common that couples confront. The good news is that there are several things you can do to help inspire more sexual energy in your relationship, and as long as both you and your wife are on board, there is no reason why you can’t create the frequent and passionate sex you desire.