My life has changed completely since I began the Internet dating experiment 8 years ago. My cousins told me that it was bad for me to be alone all by myself here in the Bay Area during an emotionally vulnerable time, so because I love and respect them, I gave it a try.
Because of Internet dating, I am alive now. The compassion and connection I have developed with a few delightful men+ has kept me healthier and more grounded through some horrifying family tragedies.
I joined Eharmony in January of 2007. Match and Chemistry were both total strikeouts. By accident I found OK C**** in November of 2007 and three days later a very interesting man wrote to me. We dated for 6 years.
I am no trophy, and I am not well-off. I am 63 years old with mobility disabilities, yet I could go out with a different man every day of the year if I wished.
Women, go sign up for Ashley M***** too.** Nowhere else on earth are the odds more in your favor. I met a lovely man there 18 months ago and we are still dating. We see one another once every week or so. Please use a deadend email address, for crying out loud!
Married men or happily-married widowed men are much more reliable and considerate than single men. They are also grateful for your willingness to see them despite their marital or emotional status. Give it a try!*
Women, your account is free at A M******. AM provides tools for you to upload your photos and apply a disguise to them after upload.
During the month I had my account open, more than 600 men either indicated interest by pinging me (free to them) or paying to write me an email. At first, I wrote back to many of those men who seemed interesting. My work started to pile up because I was spending ever more increasing hours writing back to my AM contacts. At least 1/3 of these men were local and dateable. Many were divorced, many widowed, many caring for disabled spouses. Many men whose wives just stopped liking sex wrote to me.
I am sharing this because these services helped me learn more about what I wanted in a relationship and adjust my expectations about my future. I first learned about the concept of sapiosexuality from my good friend Jay Wiseman. You may know me as one of Jay’s lunch b***hs.
Anyway, my dance card is full of sapiosexuals, but if it weren’t, I would do all the things people suggested here.
Then, ask a potential partner to join the Internet dating service of your choice and answer at least 300 questions. It’s not hard to do 30 or so while you are waiting for your incredibly ancient overburdened computer to open Adobe Acrobat DC. The applicant (*snort) should also be willing to take 25 or so of the personality quizzes. There are thousands of questions to choose from and hundreds of quizzes to take.
A final word about OKC…Take part! Submit your own questions and quizzes for consideration by the editors. The users take an active role in the site. Many are psychologists and others with human science educations.
*See my next article: 6 ways to tell him that you are not a bootycall.
**About the AM hack: My deadend fake email was revealed by the AM hack, but nothing else. They were stupid and greedy, refusing to invest in adequate security despite their reassuring promises of confidentiality. But I don’t care about that. I am seeing an adorably hot man I met through AM. We are going on two years. He’s brilliant and hilarious.